Hartman Counseling

We provide competent, anti-oppressive and inclusive therapy for clients, aspire to be good neighbors to our local community, and cultivate a healthy, balanced workplace for therapists

Positive vs. Toxic

Have you ever heard the phrase, “just be happy it could be worse” or “good vibes only”? If you have, then chances are you have experienced some toxic positivity.


What is toxic positivity? The dismissing or invalidating of negative emotions in favor of forcing a positive outlook, the excessive and ineffective overgeneralization of a happy, optimistic state across all situations

Key Traits

  1. Emotionally dismissive- rejects or downplays difficult feelings 

  2. Inauthentic- forces a false sense of cheerfulness

  3. Shaming- makes people feel guilty for experiencing sadness, anger or stress

  4. Avoidant- avoids real problems rather than addressing them 


What is healthy positivity? The practice of maintaining a hopeful and optimistic outlook while acknowledging and validating difficult emotions. It does not ignore pain, frustration or sadness- it makes space for them and encourages growth and resilience through those experiences.  

Key Traits 

  1. Emotional honest- accepts that negative emotions are part of being human 

  2. Compassionate- offers support without judgement or pressure 

  3. Grounded in reality - encourages positive outlook while recognizing real challenges involved 

  4. Growth oriented- focuses on learning from setbacks, not denying them



Let’s play a game! Toxic or Healthy?


  1. Don’t be so negative!

  2. Its okay to feel bad sometimes

  3. Think happy thoughts!

  4. Failure is part of growth 

  5. It can be difficult to see the good in this situation, but we’ll make sense of it when we can

  6. Good vibes only 

  7. It’s okay to feel a range of emotions, it’s normal 

  8. I shouldn’t feel upset, I just need to be grateful 

  9. That didn’t go as planned, but I learned something. I’ll try a different approach next time. 

  10. Failure is not an option 

  11. Just look on the bright side

  12. It could be worse 

  13. Sometimes we experience bad things. How can I support you?

  14. I shouldn’t feel upset, I just need to be grateful 

  15. You’ll get over it, just move on


A: T, H, T, T, H, T, H, T, H, T, H, T, H, T, T

945 W. George St. Suite 206 | 773.360.1687 | brooke@hartmancc.com